IT WAS UGLY

Ok, I had it coming. Eating, drinking, and making merry for four days in a row does not make you lose weight. I just didn't realize how much I could gain. I'm sure most of that is bloat from the alcohol and also from my current PMS state, but still yo. I sucked ass this week. Fo' shizzle.

The one thing I did do different this time is not give in and be defeated. My normal pattern is to say, "fuck it" and blow off my meeting and weigh in and then spiral out of control until I eventually quit. This time I didn't. I forced myself to both weigh in and stay for the meeting because I knew seeing the numbers and being at the meeting would motivate me to do better. And I was right.

C and I have started this new "competition" where we see who can get the most activity points during the week. The lowest score puts $5 into our "fatty fund" and we let it accumulate until we decide it's time to spend it. At that point, we'll split the dough and get something nice for each of us. That hopefully won't involve food. Maybe a haircut or manicure or something like that.

In any case, it's motivational for us to get up and get moving and it's positive competition because we both encourage each other to do our best. C is kicking ASS, though! She's been jogging and working her thang and she's looking great. She's so motivational to me right now and I'm so proud of her. But since the jar now has $10 of MY money, I'm going to beat you this week, C!

So, the weigh-in was ugly and embarassing (hence why I'm not posting it), but I feel good about getting back on track. Feel free to drop me an encouraging note in the comments section. I could use it this week. :)

NO, I HAVEN'T QUIT.

I'll admit it, I've had a rough few weeks.

Two weeks ago after the 3.2 lb gain, I weighed in again to find that I gained .2 lbs. It was really a blow to my motivation and I was pissed, so I didn't post.

Last week, I was actually excited to weigh in because I had done well and had tons of activity points. Because of the holiday, I decided to go to an earlier meeting at a different location, so I drove the 20 mins to the meeting only to find the doors locked. I went home, checked the schedule online, and realized I was looking at the wrong day. DOH. And because I had a friend in town and a hella busy schedule, I never got to weigh in last week. Which is too bad because it would have been good, unlike this week.

I started eating on Thanksgiving day and don't think I stopped until yesterday. Not only that, but I rarely drink and I had wine and mixed drinks every day as well. Not good. I was away in NYC for a gig over the weekend and we just ate out and ate crappy food every day. GAH. Stupid. I got home and everythign felt tighter and I was crazy bloated.

I got it back together yesterday and today and I'm back on track and focused, but I am SO not looking forward to tomorrow's weigh-in. I'm nervous I may have gained everything back. Yes, that bad.

Fingers crossed.

AWESOME PIZZA FIND - GO GET YOURS!

LEAN CUISINE BBQ CHICKEN PIZZA - 7 POINTS

Oh good lord, I think I may have died and gone to heaven! This pizza ROCKS.
It's brick-oven style and has big, chunky pieces of chicken on it. The bbq
is good and there's also yummy red onions on it.

For a girl like me who loves a good BBQ Chicken Pizza, this totally rocks my world.
7 points is a little higher than I like for a frozen thing, but points well spent.

PMS, 1. DIVA, +3.2

PMS wins again.

I knew it wasn't going to be pretty, but to be honest, I expected only 1-2 lbs. 3.2 blows. I know I'll lose it this week, but it still sucks to know that every month I'll have one week of a gain and a week after where I practically starve myself to take that off and catch back up. But such is the life of a recovering fat girl.

Tonight at the meeting, our leader Jean (who's AWESOME) was asking us what was different about this time and why we were succeeding. I realized that what's different for me (as corny as it sounds) is that this time I forgive myself for gains like this. In the past, a gain like this would make me say "screw this" and be impetus for me to jam more food down my throat. Instead, I just feel motivated. I know that PMS is a force that I just cannot control and that I will just have to forgive, forget, and move on. I WILL lose it this week. I just feel motivated to continue on. It's slow, but it will happen. I just know it this time.

So just stay tuned for next week, where I will kick ass with a nice big weight loss!